The Pain Of Independence | Yoga 15

I recently read about the “pain of independence”, in a fantastically thoughtful book by Ozan Varol. Ozan writes: “Resisting conformity causes us emotional distress…[It] produces…”a pain of independence.”

This idea particularly resonated with me as I seem to have adopted a number of beliefs that run counter to prevailing wisdom. I’ve discovered that conventional relationships are not the only place to find love, that “working for the man” is anything but a safe bet and that living in many different countries allows for a richness that I’ve never been able to replicate in one spot.

THE IMPORTANCE OF INTROSPECTION

As Ozan says, swimming against the tide can be painful and I’ve found that it requires continuous self-reflection. Every day I ask myself if I really feel this way or if I’m just incredibly adept at coming up with justifications for the way my life has “turned out”. (No doubt it is a bit of both.) I ask friends and people I respect about their experiences and try always to be seeking out evidence that contradicts my point of view.

I’d argue that this type of introspection can be useful for everyone, however seemingly conventional their path. 2020 has shown us that, in the modern world, safety in numbers is an illusion. That our jobs, freedoms, rights and relationships are not as…